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Shark Attack 3
The plot is simple. Ben Carpenter discovers a large tooth on an underwater pipe. Using magical photoeditting technology, he posts it on the net (just how was that camera attached to the computer? And how did he get a photo instantly without the desk being in the background?) only to attract the attention of the 'beautiful' paleantologist Cat Stone. Through a web of lies and deception (hmm, a marine biologist eh?) they join together to discover the owner of the tooth. Meanwhile, people on the beaches begin to die.....
And there is THE LINE of course.
Here is a movie with a pretty low budget. But rather than admitting that they have a low budget and creating a nice gem of a movie, the filmmakers decided to think big. Real big. And to do this, they needed to cut some corners.But what does this mean? Well, our sixty foot extinct megalodon, is in fact made up of old documentary footage of Great Whites. And what hollywood magic did they implement to make our shark look sixty foot long? Easy, super-impose little men and boats in it's mouth. Superb. It would definately win the award for most inventive use of CGI and stock footage.
But that's not all. This is a movie with acting and dialouge so bad that I swear it was dubbed if their lips didn't sync. Speaking of dialouge, there is the infamous LINE. A pick up line that I feel every man should try once in his life. It worked in the movie, surely it must work down the pub?
What else? I hear you cry out. Well, I'll tell ya, Did I mention THE LINE?
The movie seems to have been directed by someone withthe mentality of a teenage boy. Nearly all of the dialouge scenes involve plenty of scantily clad women wandering around in the background. You get a conversation happening between a fisherman, and a guy having sex. Just to make things even more bizarre, the fisherman seems to be completely unaware of the fact that the guy he is talking to is having sex at all. Perhaps his attention is caught up with the fact his 8ft fish has just been bitten in half. There are plenty of Up-skirt shots included too as the ocean liner gets attacked by the shark (yes you have read that right)
Oh, and did I mention THE LINE?
In Conclusion
There are very few movies that come in at the calibre of this one. A rare gem that is a treat for all the family
Bad rating:
BRAINMELT:
You know I'm really wired .... what do you say I take you home and......?
bravenet.com
