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Battlefield Earth: A Saga of the Year 3000

Wow what a title, It's quite long, but powerful too. And this movie stars John Travolta, and made less than a decade ago, surely it must be great? ha ha ha, pitious fool. Anyway, yes there is a plot.... the evil Klingon ... er I mean 'Psyclo' alien race have taken over the earth and plundered all it's resources especially all the gold, which is obviously the most important material in all the galaxy (yet they missed fort knox... Doh!). They have been doing this for about 1000 years, and man, all but extinct, has regressed into a cave man state, having forgotton all about the wonders of 20th Century technology (like miniture golf, and glass windows). They are used as slaves to mine gold, and considered to be stupid (well at least something is right here)
This movie must have one of the world records for number of goofs, errors and impossibilities. But not technical nerdy ones, ones that everyday people can enjoy. Fancy teaching cavemen geometary? no problem. looking for for a way to train cavemen to fly the mint condition 1000 year
old harrier jets that still have useable fuel in them? why not try that flight simulator over there that still has power attached to it? Not got enough plot to fill the movie? try slowing down every action scene, and have exploding rock all around? Want the main man to re-discover his history, try those 1000 year old books in that library there? Want to know what the man-creatures favourite food is? Why not set them free in the snowy mountains, the first thing he eats is bound to be his favourite.
But despite the fact that all the armies of the 20th century put up a measly 9 minute fight when they first attacked, one of these 'rat-brain' man-creatures decided to fight back, and maybe, just maybe, he can wipe out the entire klingon, er ...Psyclo race for good. But I won't tell you if he succeeds or not as that would spoil it.

The acting is completely wooden. Well in all fairness, it's not always wooden, occasionally it's so over the top you can't help but fall off your seat. When you hear John Travolta say "while you were still learning how to ...SPELL YOUR NAME! ....I was being trained to conquor GALAXIES!" you can't help but think that John Travolta can actully act if he wants to. What the hell is he thinking? Ah I know exactly what he was thinking .... "Yes master Hubbard ... I shall do your bidding". Thanks John.
Oh, and see if you ever really blow your own arm off by explosives that you didn't notice anyone attach to you, I'd like to see your reaction. I'll bet my balls it won't be "hmmm".
In Conclusion
You do have to wonder how a movie with well known actors and a $70 million dollar budget can go so horribly wrong. You will hate this movie, but you will enjoy every second of that hatred.
Having said that, being a big budget movie, there are some nice SFX, and it certainly a lot more watchable than the likes of Ankle Biters or Manos. A bad movie for the mainstream audience!
Bad rating:
BRAINMELT:


SBIF:







SMART CAVE MAN: Look, this is a triangle, and this is maths, the unifying language of the universe,
STUPID CAVE MAN: Wow thanks, I think I can now fly that 1000 year old harrier jet over there.
(I know not an actal quote, but it's as close as you need)
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